She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
