I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
literally had 100 drinks last night.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
