I'd wear matching sweaters with you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...