I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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