hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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