ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
