Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
