I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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