i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
