nut hugger
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
