Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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