forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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