i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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