He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
