i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
