well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
