I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
