There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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