Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
