You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
