She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
