I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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