I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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