You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
