do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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