My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
