Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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