Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
