what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize