you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
