he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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