The maid of honor just puked.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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