So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
