I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
