you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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