Me. At least after what I've been through.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Randomize
