I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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