it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
