I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
