Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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