i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
