I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize