Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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