Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
