Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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