plz talk dirty to me
This is not my ceiling
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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