I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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