so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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