kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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