Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
