Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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