remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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