Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize