Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
