Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
