I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
