I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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