when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
