The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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