why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
