Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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