this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
