how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
