Kiss
Puke
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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