I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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