I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
