I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize