dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How external is "for external use only"?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
