The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
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College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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