i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
