eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
