ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
