just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
