his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
