I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
