am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
