just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
